boston view

thought-prayers

violating insight 

downward eyes

unfocused pain

blurred vision 

detached retina

delinked perception 

humanity invisible

no clear plan

in sight

remain

we are the remnants

of our upbringing

of our childhood

of our home town

the bicycle we coasted to freedom

the playground we sandboxed to discovery

all the pleasure pathways

frozen in the mind

unmelted by time

or by wasted years

or by grown-up tears

those red-blooded days

of forever innocence

even as physical changes come

and warp and rebound and deface

even as mental changes come

and warp and rebound and debase

those nuggets of beauty

the captured fragments

remain

without dreams

following the stars

that brought me here 

beckoning 

 sleep now

there's nothing more to do

than trace the paths of glory and defeat

both gained and lost 

and listen to the music of the stars

feeling a symphony all its own

 but

 if i should go to orion

to leave my earthly world to another orb

then at least

i know i have soared through the night

and touched all i could feel

like being wrapped in moonglow

and fantasy and shining wonder

believing in tomorrow's brighter hue

~ ~ ~

without dreams

the weight of life

is heavy

lost and found

who am i

but a vagabond

enduring a world of strangers

it's not often

i've traveled upon

throughout my suitcased past

a sympathetic soul

just as lost and incognito,

like a discarded transplant

which saves life,

as i,

who soars through the stars

seeking refuge from life's sorrows

the one who doesn't love to impress

but loves when impressed

the one who cries at the simplest things

and laughs at the toughest

who am i indeed

but so fortunate and found

missing

the mornings that you're not here

find me famished

but i can't eat

though hollow from the nights before

in the afternoons i lose all senses

with petal-less gardens

and imprints in the blades of grass

reminders of where we lay

but it's the nights i miss you most

the interminable nights of intolerable empty

where i hide in sorrow

in the darkest corners of the gloom

the long loud scream

there's a sea of ice
under which we'll crush
and a sun of gold
under which we'll melt
a torrent of rain
under which we'll drown
a tremor of earthquake
under which we'll smother
yet this earth continues what it has to do
for its inhabitants know not what they do
as we pass the ribbon of rubicon
under the big bold bright balloons
waving a carnival of streamers
of freedoms and liberties
the dopamine of our playground
unable to resist the riptide
stumbling fumbling tumbling
beyond the tipping point
like roller coaster riders
at the apex of the long loud scream
toward silence

simply

i was a mere simple boy

when simple meant simple joy

and now being simple's

not simple anymore



life became so complicated

and at times so desperate(d)

it came to a crisis

of my head



but i was a mere simple boy

when simple meant simple joy

and new being simple's

not simple anymore



it's hard to imagine

all gone like a phantom

the quest i was on

to be me



but i was a mere simple boy

when simple meant simple joy

and now being simple's

not simple anymore



if trust were a gamble

it gave out like a sample

into a hungry mouth

cracking teeth



i was a mere simple boy

when simple meant simple joy

and now being simple's

not me.

lizards ;)

scars across the brain you say
what an atypical finding
seems the wheels you set in motion
are causing bilateral grinding
to think that what you feared
is not much more than headaches
leads me only to speculate that
suffering fools gladly medicates

me again soon

it's been awhile
since i've written
must be your smile
i was missin
i was on trial
had been bitten
it's on file
i'd been sittin
many a mile
i kept hidden
now there's a pile
of me unwritten
i'll not beguile
i'll be me
again
soon
with
or without
the swoon
or
flying
to the
moon
if
there's
room
espeically if i can write again in free but expensive verse, not this terse, it's the worse(t)

thoreau

i lay down in a field

where ant hills abounded

removed my pants

to flaunt my naked backside

i hardened as i saw the red devils advancing

combing through the follicles

intoxicated with the desire for elixir

consuming as they penetrated the cavity.

all too soon

milk-liquid shot from me

and slithered into the sweet wet grasses

like snakes over sand dunes

while thunders of a coming storm

threatened to drench

the thrill and bliss of

my commune with nature.

i'll not be fooled again

when i was a child
i thought the moon was the sun turned off
but when i saw the moon floating on the water
and the sun drowning in the sea
i knew i was fooled.
i've tried to float and nearly drowned
so perhaps i'm neither like the sun nor the moon
more like the stars
and, as an adult, i know they wink when i blink
and blink when i wink
and there they go
not because it's dark
but because it's light
up all night, i'll not be fooled again

the whole chicken

i know
that when i stuff myself
when my insides
mash up my body
and jam up my ribs
i feel as i do too often
a head trapped within a skull
but here i go again
and eat the whole chicken

rita

inside my head is

prairie dust and spiders

no wonder rita

has breasts as big as boulder colorado

and spreads her legs before me

like a mountain valley

with lands to be burrowed

and encloses her furrows gripping the plow

to capture every last glacial drop

no wonder rita

controls my mind

and clears the cobwebs

fucking it to fertility

not me

who'd have thought
that among winters' captives
a tiny spark of everything
would flower in passion
though rankled and wrangled and reposed
like the lovers' promise
to remain eternal?
not me

time

time

when locked in love

ceases

or

when fooled by love

lapses.

there is a difference:

like watching a stream

and running beside it

in rhythm with the flow; or

like stopping by the stream

and witnessing the rush

that slips away over stones.

the quest is to find

a love of the present,

not the future nor the past,

just now

when there is no fear

no jealousy

no envy

no worry

no guilt

no fault

no sorrow

no hurry

and, if time treats you well,

no end

leaking

i find that i am leaking from
the part of the scenery that i am
and what i have become
twisting in the wind
like a browning maple leaf
outgrown its stay
unsure of where it will land
or if time will mulch its journey
trembling ever so
in anticipation
in captivity

without you

let's start with what we know
but never admit it.
the world is unbearable...
scary
sad
disappointing
unforgiving
mean
hateful
ruthless
sucking the bloodlife out of you
like a squeegy mop squeeging.
but don't tell a soul
keep it the little secret
deceit, torture, killing, lies, hate, hunger, poverty, illness, loneliness
NOISE
all so vicious and cruel and unable to sustain life...
without you

cyberquicky

unzip
zipin
upload
download
zipout
zipup

f*cked

my eyes are filled with you
and overwhelmed by your beauty
moving slowly over your body
trailing from your exquisite breasts
down your creamy soft skin
over the folds of your sex
as you open for me
and reveal it's mine for the taking
i enter you slowly
until the full length of me fills you
i hear a tiny yelp
and then a cry for help
and then a moan of surrender
i take you violently
feasting on your nipples
like a vulture in a coffin
devouring you in a crunching griphold
you plead for the kill
and want me to excavate your womanhood
and i do so ruthlessly
plunging inside my tunnel of death
i worship your mouth
and ask you to annoint me
in wet thrusts of bliss
as wine runs down your thighs
the host, the sweetest honey

empty house

empty house
it used to be full
and loud
and never so silent

empty soul
it used to be full
and radiant
and never so sad

empty head
it used to be full
and crazy
and never so damn sane